Psychic Oscar Predictions

I love it when psychics make verifiable claims, don’t you?

Their proven track record for accurate predications for those in the public eye has PsychicSource, the nation’s oldest and most respected psychic network in high demand this Oscar season, as people from Hollywood to Manhattan want to know who will walk away with the coveted Academy Awards on March 7. However, Psychic Source’s predictions are as much about credibility as they are the fun of knowing the winners — and major upsets — ahead of time.

Wow, they sure are confident! If they get them all right this year then I’ll probably be putting some money down on their predictions for next year. Lets see who they say will win…

In the Best Picture category they pick Inglorious Basterds. I haven’t seen it but personally I think Precious or that crapfest Avatar will win. I hope Up or District 9 wins.

For Best Actor they chose Morgan Freeman in Invictus. Seems likely.

They predict Precious star Gabourey Sidibe for Best Actress, I wouldn’t be surprised…everone loves the noob!

Here are the rest of their predictions:

Best Supporting Actor
Woody Harrelson, “The Messenger”

Best Supporting Actress
Mo’Nique, “Precious”

Best Director
Quentin Tarantino, “Inglourious Basterds”

Best Original Screenplay
Quentin Tarantino, “Inglourious Basterds”

Best Adapted Screenplay
Geoffrey Fletcher, “Precious”

Music, Best Original Score
James Horner, “Avatar”

Music, Best Original Song
Take It All, from the movie “Nine” (Music and Lyric by Maury Yeston)

They also predict that Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will do so well that they’re asked to come back next year…I sure hope so!

I’ll post Psychic Source’s hits and misses after the show on Sunday, see you then!

Psychic Predictions for 2010 – Sylvia Browne

I always enjoy listening to the SGU‘s New Year’s podcast and their take on psychic predictions for the coming year (and for the past year), but since for some reason iTunes isn’t letting me download it (GRRRRRR!!!), and also since I’m not sure if they’ll do that this year, I decided to look for myself at one of the most famous psychics, the despicable Sylvia Browne‘s psychic predictions.

And here are her brilliant insights…

Around 2009 to 2010, I predict Americans will start working on what I like to call our “buts.” There are problems that we are aware of that make the global community smaller. We have liked to say, “Our system works”..but……Children are not properly fed, clothed, educated, protected or given adequate medical care.

…Many in our population do not have a place to call home.

…Some of our youth get more attention from gangs and drug dealers than they do positive role models.

…People who are ready, willing and able to work cannot find decent jobs.

…Our elderly are not cared for properly either financially or medically.

…Some death row inmates are innocent.

…Some elected officials and large corporations do not think of the welfare of the people as a high priority – they’d rather just increase their bank accounts.

I predict we’ll develop strong resolve and resources to address these problems and come up with some good solutions.

She does go on to give some actual predictions, rather than just statements of what’s already happening and what won’t change any time soon:

I predict a great rise in skin cancer in children until 2010. There is a lot of media coverage about the UV rays and many products to protect people against them. But people are still often careless when it comes to the sun. Then again, people could pay attention – and reverse this prediction right out from under me. I would certainly be all for that!

Great technique, Sylvia, make sure to make excuses for your predictions before they fail.

I predict the President elected sometime between 2008 and 2020 will die in office from a heart attack. The Vice President who will finish their term will have an unpopular and mistaken intention to declare war on North Korea. By that time, North Korea will have weapons of mass destruction. In the middle of efforts to declare war, I predict the Vice President will be assassinated.

This is a pretty bold prediction, that both the President and the Vice President will die or be killed in office, but she gave herself a nice big window of time. It’s unlikely that anyone will call Sylvia up in 2020 and say “ha! Your 2010 prediction was soooo wrong!”…maybe I will…

I’m pretty ignorant of North Korean issues at the moment, but don’t they currently claim to have WMDs? Anyways…

There will be a worldwide investigation into the Vice President’s death with both pleasant and unpleasant surprises. A lot of attention will be paid to one of the investigative congressional committees and serious accusations will be made regarding missing funds. Finally, it will be revealed that their accusations are part of a conspiracy to damage the American people’s faith in their government, with the media manipulated to “fan the flames,” and the committee will be vindicated in the end.

Politics as usual, no?

I predict we can truly say “goodbye” to the common cold in 2009 or 2010. The solution to the common cold involves heat. Keep in mind that the body’s first response when we develop a cold is to come down with a fever. Many doctors today no longer rush to push patients to take temperature reducing medications when they come down with a fever, unless the fever is dangerous. They feel the immune system is the patient’s best medicine and should be given a chance to fight back. So as the immune system fights a cold with heat, the cure for the common cold certainly may lie in this first signal to heal.

Okay Dr. Browne…but last time I checked a fever is not one of the symptoms of a cold.

I predict that a small cubicle will become available in doctor’s offices sometime in 2009 and it will be heated to a very precise temperature. There may be a special vapor placed into the cubicle. Patients will stand in the cubicle for approximately five minutes and the rhinitis germ will be destroyed.

Medical researchers everywhere are rushing to their labs to test out Sylvia’s amazing idea! Why did none of them think of this sooner?? A warm vapour cubicle, of course!

Another wonderful bit of good news on the health front with this discovery – since this cubicle can easily take on the rhinitis germ, many people that have breathing problems with allergies and asthma complications will find some breakthroughs as well. We will see this cubicle discovery used for healing for those with breathing disorders. The cubicle will become available in 2009 or 2010.

I wonder when the magic vapour cubicle will become available at the Sylvia Browne store?

I predict hypnotic past-life regression will become available through a group of trained psychologists on both the east and west coasts of the U.S.A. in 2009. It will prove to be quite a success and will be widely practiced by 2011.

Sorry about the lolcats, but I have one more…the resemblance is uncanny:

Separated at Birth?

Police Officer Fired for his Spiritualist Beliefs

Alan Power is claiming he was wrongfully fired from the Greater Manchester Police when his superiors found out that he believes that psychics can help in investigations:

Alan Power, 62, won a ruling from a judge that his spiritualist beliefs qualify as a religion which should be protected in the workplace.

The decision clears the way for Mr Power to bring a discrimination case over his sacking by Greater Manchester Police.

I’m not sure why it matters whether or not his beliefs are a religion, nobody should be fired on the basis of their beliefs.

He claims he was fired from his job training special constables after just three weeks, when his bosses became aware that he believes messages from beyond the grave could help in criminal investigations.

I’m curious as to whether he was fired because of his beliefs, or because he was telling the constable trainees that they should use psychics in their investigations. If that’s the case, then yeah, he should be fired. But if he kept his beliefs to himself and was training the constables to use evidence- and reason-based investigation techniques, then reinstate the guy!

5 Bits of Woo I Wish Were True and 5 I’m Glad Aren’t True

The Top 5 Bits of Woo I Wish Were True:

5. Santa Claus – When I was a kid my parents told me that on Christmas Eve a jolly old man in a red suit would come down our chimney and leave me toys that his magical elves made me at the North Pole. How cool would that be?! And now as an adult, I’m thinking that Christmas could be a whole lot more fun if Santa did my shopping for me.

4. Free Energy – There’s always somebody pimping their perpetual motion machine, telling you they’ve got the solution to the energy crisis, but unfortunately they’re either con artists, deluded, or breaking the laws of thermodynamics. Alas! I guess I’ll just have to keep paying the heating bill and filling up that pesky gas tank.

3. The Afterlife – It would be so comforting to know that my loved ones are living on after they’ve passed away, and to know that I would be meeting them again soon. Also, since I became an atheist, I’ve started getting really bad anxiety every time I get in a car. I desperately don’t want to die, because I know this is the only life I get. If I knew that there was an afterlife I would be a lot more relaxed about taking risks, and I certainly wouldn’t be such an annoying back seat driver!

2. UFOs – Imagine if aliens actually visited Earth? Hopefully they wouldn’t be of the anal-probing variety…but it would surely be the highlight of my life to encounter a being from another solar system. I highly doubt the possibility of humans achieving inter-stellar travel in my lifetime, so to have a creature that’s seen the universe from a completely different perspective come to us would be…just…wow.

1. The Power of Prayer – If I thought I could relieve someone’s pain or bring world peace or solve complicated problems by appealing to a higher power, you’d better believe I would be down on my knees every second of every day.

The Top 5 Bits of Woo I’m Glad Aren’t True:

5. Psychic Powers – It creeps me out to imagine a world where certain people could read your thoughts and see your future. My thoughts are private, and I choose what I share with people. To not have the ability to own my most personal feelings would suck. And I have no desire to see my future. That would take the adventure out of life! Althought I wouldn’t mind winning the occasional lottery…

4. 9/11 and Moon Landing Conspiracy Theories – These ideas sicken me because they assume that the government is able to dupe people on a massive scale, and that they are in no way accountable to the people they represent. Politicians have their problems and often do crooked things, but they don’t have nearly the amount of control over the population as these two theories would require if they were true. Plus, humans have been on another freaking world! How jaded do you have to be to deny that???

3. Ghosts – I like the idea of an afterlife, but if I had to spend it walking up and down stairs, making howling noises, and causing loopy psychics to feel cold, I’d rather just be dead.

2. The Dangers of Vaccines – Vaccines save lives, and have helped nearly eliminate certain painful childhood illnesses. Yet there are certain people who, for whatever reason, have decided to ignore the evidence and blame vaccines for everything that’s wrong in the world. I think they should take a stroll through an old graveyard and count the number of babies burried there.

1. Hell – Eternal torment…what a brilliant idea thought up by authority figures to keep their people in line. Nobody should be punished eternally for any mistake they made on Earth. It’s a horrible thing to threaten someone with. Thankfully it doesn’t exist…unfortunately some people genuinely live in fear of fire and brimstone. Sad.

Psychic Didn’t See It Coming?

This isn’t really a funny story, but I admit I let out a little chuckle when I read that one of the occupants of this building was a psychic:

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (WPRI) – Firefighters were called to the scene of building fire on Monday afternoon.

The building located near Mathewson Street started on the second floor. Officials say that is where renovations are being done. The fire quickly spread to third floor.

Businesses on the first floor of the building including a convenience store and psychic have suffered significant water damage.

About 50 firefighters were called in to help fight the blaze. No one was injured in the fire. Officials are still trying to determine the exact cause.

Do you think they’ll start doubting their psychic powers? Hopefully, now they can go and get a proper job. Unless they did predict the fire, in which case they should apply for the million dollar challenge.