On Death

I try to act all zen about death, but in all honesty it just sucks.

My husband’s family suffered a tragic loss, a loss that came far to early, this Christmas.

And you know what? It’s absolute shit.

It’s shit that her loved ones have to suffer the loss, it’s shit that her smile won’t light up any more rooms, it’s shit that she won’t get to do all of the things she was so excited about.

I hardly knew her, I only saw her once or twice per year, but that doesn’t make her death any less tragic. I can’t imagine the nightmare the people close to her are going through right now.

I have to stretch really hard to think of anything positive that can come out of this, and I don’t want to. She should be alive right now and it’s unfair that she’s not.

Death sucks.

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5 Responses to “On Death”


  1. 1 kevinbbg December 29, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    My wife was very sick for 16 years so I had a lot of time to think about it. “Death sucks” is pretty much what I came up with, too.

    And I got really sick of celebrities who were going through some really serious stuff talk about how much they’ve learned and grown from it, blah blah blah. If they would ever have interviewed me I would have just said “It sucks!!”

  2. 2 Global Villager December 29, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    The fact that death sucks is probably the biggest ally of religion. We all fear the nothingness and the despair of death. Religion offers a blissful alternative. Ignorance is bliss.

    I do not have any data that supports this but my guess is that many people who call themselves religious fail to see how absurd it all is because they want all the afterlife stuff to be true. I know that thought crossed my mind when I was making my transition to atheism.

  3. 3 EnlightningLinZ January 2, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    Kevin I agree, today was the funeral and although most of it was people sharing their wonderful memories of her life, there was the occasional “all things happen for a reason” and “heaven is a better place now”. It just seems disingenuous, even though I know they honestly believe it. All I can say is that it sucks, it’s awful, it’s unfair, and there’s no good reason for her to not still be here today.

  4. 4 misunderstoodranter January 3, 2010 at 10:53 am

    Death is a part of life, we don’t remember being born, and we will not remember our death, and life is part of nature. When my grandfather died, I thought of him being recycled back into nature, rather than dying – which was of some comfort.

    As for an afterlife in the heaven sense – I am skeptical, eternal life has no attraction to me what so ever.

    However, part of me does question my own conscience, and where does that reside, and whether a conscience can reside in another place.

    Some research that has recently been done has suggested so – not in a heavily sense, but in a mechanical sense:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00nhv56

    And whilst I will only bet on that we get one chance at life, it may be possible, that the nature of time and space allows for our rebirth as a reoccurring phenomenon.

  5. 5 Mom January 9, 2010 at 10:41 pm

    I think you live on after death in people’s memories. You continue to have an effect in the world because of the impact you make while you are alive, ergo your afterlife! This provides me with hope that what I do in the here and now will have a positive influence in the world not only while I am alive but long after I am gone. I know of many people who have died who continue to influence who I am and who I want to become.


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